Relief/Diner Online Submissions System

This is my poem. Please read it and tell me what you think. Note: it's really long.

Reign of Oil

There is no color
The world is dark
Black skies linger on and on till they become earth
To the edge all I see are mountains of coal
A sulfur haze blurs all sight
The only light, a red glow, floats up from deep valleys below
Sounds are immediately consumed by shadow
Black storms forever litter the earth with oil and ash
The earth constantly groans and quakes in anger

I sit chained atop the highest peak—alone to my thoughts
Arms and legs bound, I am forever in darkness
From the crimson depths I hear cries of slander
There is no water for even the clouds mock me
Oil rains down on me
I drink—it is bitter to my tongue and anxious in my stomach
From my mouth comes a flow of black blood
The blood seeps into the ground and the earth shakes
Oil and ash fall heavier from the rage

On the wind comes a whisper
It is soft and delicate but it breaks through the silence
It speaks words of light and color
My ears, at first, shut out such drivel
“What light can last in such thick darkness?”
“What color is seen in black shadow?”
There in the distance the clouds break quickly then close
While for just that moment the darkness flees
Then, again in the darkness I sit—waiting to see the sun again

Time crawls ever slower
Soon I question my eyes
I see only death—black blood ever covering the ground
The oil falls harder and the sulfurous smoke thickens
Through the dirt and ash crawl rotting maggots
Attracted to the scent of blood they cover my skin
They break into my mouth and creep down my throat
Foul to taste and nauseating to feel my stomach protests again
“Where is the sun I saw? Was it real?”

As the temperatures rise a cool breeze lifts my heart
While the clouds continue to blacken I remember the beautiful colors
Though oil still falls I think of the brightness of the sun
Though I shiver from the maggots I replay the soft whisper
Looking down, my chains sit broken in half
Soon the sulfur thins
Off in the distance, chained atop another peek, sits my brother
Shouting joyfully I proclaim my freedom
“Look at my chains. They are broken!”

That man, like I was, is shrouded in bitterness
Seductive shadows dance around him as all he desires
Forever enticing they appear beautiful
Always they beckon a gift of blood
Day after day this man forces his mouth to concede
But these ghosts embody a pledge that they will never fulfill
His sacrifice only enrages the land and gives life to the dead surrounding him
He cries, “When will I be repaid the blood I give?”
I continue to call out to him hoping my words will break through the darkness

Finally my shouting is heard
“If you are free,” he says, “why do you not rise and clean yourself?”
I look, and still I am weighed down by filth
My skin is still a canvas for realizing our curse
As I try to move, my body burns in pain
My body has become stone over time
As my heart sinks the clouds lower above me
Maggots continue to feast on my skin
“What good are broken chains if my own body holds me down?”

Words from the deep grow louder
The red glow rises with the smoke
Higher it burns until its flames pollute the sky
The clouds turn red
Among the oil now falls rotten blood
It gives off a toxic stench and I am overcome with sickness
I violently bleed from my mouth
I look to the edge in despair
“Will I never see beauty again?”

Weary from illness I sleep
The sky is black but is calm without clouds
Millions of stars stretch on forever
I am floating on a sea as still as glass
What I see above is reflected perfectly below me
Rain falls from the cloudless sky
The drops caress my face and I drink
On the horizon sits the man on the moon and he smiles at me
Then I wake up—the fire wholly consuming the sky

Again a whisper tickles my ear as a breeze
Quickly, though, it strengthens
Like a raging storm the blood and oil blows horizontally
The wind nearly cleans all filth from my body
Then, the stone that is my skin cracks
One small crack dots my chest
Almost immediately the wind stops
Again oil falls on me
Again I sit in my own filth with my chains broken

I look to my brother sitting in shadow
“I am free!”
I scream in pain as I try to move my arms
Violently I shake and louder I cry out in pain
The crack on my chest grows
With each crack, thunder strikes
As I bend my arms and lean over the stone slowly crumbles away
Placing my hands on the ground blood seeps up from the weight
Slowly I rise to my feet as the last of the stone falls to the earth

Just as he sees my standing he is covered in solid shadow
Every shout to him is lost
In the distance I see the clouds open again
I see the brightness of the sun and the blue of the sky
I stop and stare—taking in all I can
The clouds, though, stay open
The sky still covers me in blood
Dripping black I make my way down the hill
I walk to my brother
I walk to the sun