Relief/Diner Online Submissions System

There were 12 of us sitting in a small, faintly lit room, much like
the one you are in now. The first man who decided to speak,
(a professor, you understand) said plainly with the confidence of a saint,
“my Jesus is a Pacifist.” A woman with glasses sitting to the right of him

shook her head and replied, “No, no sir, my Jesus is the Holy of Holies.
He is a king. And a king does what kings need to do.” A young man with a beard
lifted one eyebrow and said “My jesus would have to love zombie movies.
He would just have to. And he isn’t a god at all.” To this I replied, “Well I think, maybe,

possibly, that my Jesus would love every song The Jesus and Mary Chain ever wrote,
though He would probably feel conflicted about most of the lyrics.” Someone behind
me quickly responded, “Nah, man. Jesus was black.” Some people got up and left.
But the rest of us stayed in that stupid little room for hours, just glaring at each other.