Tag Archive - God

How it looks from the cheap seats

Brad Fruhauff

EIC Brad Fruhauff capitalizes on his own course content to generate a few thoughts to share with the masses about Emily Dickinson and being honest about faith.

In an earlier post I drew attention to the under-appreciated humor of Emily Dickinson’s poetry, something I myself had previously overlooked. This past week we’ve been reading Dickinson in my American Lit II class, and we got on the rather frequently-discussed question of her faith. There is some controversy about just what Dickinson believed, with voices claiming her for one “side” or another much the same as people do with Shakespeare or Dickens, and even in our class discussion there were different takes on what heaven, faith, and God meant to her. But I most appreciated the argument one student, Cindy Benz, had made on our (public) course blog that day to the effect that Dickinson wrote about faith with “unflinching honesty.” For Christians, people who value truth, this is no small thing in itself, but it may also be an important thing for all Americans these days.

Benz is less concerned with pronouncing upon Dickinson’s actual beliefs (hard to get at in the mere 109 poems we read) than in examining the poet’s way of describing faith from the inside out, as it were. This insight frees her to read seemingly heterodox poems charitably, appreciating the “pure humanity” of the sentiments. Benz argues that if we are all as honest with ourselves as Dickinson is with herself (and whatever audience she may have been writing to), then we can sympathize with moments where God seems dark or distant (on that note: ever read a psalm?) or where values like love seem fleeting.

I’ll let you read for yourself how Benz works through these things. I think she offers a great example of a kind of reading that is informed by Christian values of both charity and truth, as well as a humility to open oneself up to another and to really learn something – which is a way of pursuing truth.

It’s also just a good insight into reading Dickinson. It helps, for instance, to not be scandalized by the apparently heretical love of “I cannot live with you,” in which the poet describes a rapturous romantic love that challenges her love of God. We all know the right answer to such a conflict: we’re supposed to love God above all else. But, again, if we’re honest, we know that romantic love can sometimes feel all-consuming – it’s precisely what establishes the familiar analogy between marital love and spiritual love (which is biblical, after all).

One of the great rewards of Dickinson is just how honest she is – and never smug. Christian culture often encourages us to assume a confidence that is really a mask for self-righteousness, that is, presuming a God’s-eye-view (thus, significantly, the need for Relief). Dickinson takes off her own mask – or refuses to don it – writes from our common human perspective – from the “cheap seats” of faith – and offers us the consolation of knowing we are not alone in experiencing some of the conflicts and paradoxes of love and faith.

For ten years or so, now, we’ve been talking about the increasing polarities in American civil discourse. Charitable reading, and, by extension, charitable conversation and argument, are surely practices that can help us overcome division by focusing on our common humanity, if nothing else. If, as Image editor Gregory Wolfe argues in his new book, beauty will save the world, it strikes me it will be, at least in part, through poetry like Dickinson’s and readers like Benz (yay for my student!).

Susan is giving up Facebook for Lent

Susan Fish

Susan is giving up Facebook for Lent.

Susan’s fingers instinctively reach for the F for Facebook.

Susan wants to check in with God fifty-million times a day, instead of checking for status updates.

Susan is grateful for the friend who emails her status updates the first day.

Susan wonders what role Facebook plays in her life, what boredom it staves off and what will become of her without it.

Susan has to go on Facebook the very first day – to retrieve business information from an old message. She shields the page with her hand, ignores the new message in the inbox and finds what she needs before exiting quickly.

Susan is not exactly praying more yet, but it has been a busy day.

Susan has realized she thinks of events now in terms of how she will frame or caption them for Facebook: how will life be shaped into a status update?

Susan thinks about how Facebook is utterly self-centred. What is the motto again: connecting and helping you share with friends. Something like that. But every sentence starts with me.

Susan has more than 25 random facts to tell you about herself. She is so fascinating. To herself. And can she employ her skills (Random Fact: Susan is good with words) to make you fascinated with her too?

Susan wonders what this Facebook fast is about, anyhow. Narcissus not being allowed to look into the pool? Perhaps.

Susan wants to express her feelings, to be heard. Is FB more gratifying than prayer? If a tree falls in the forest, does God hear? And will God comment on the status of the fall?

Susan misses the juiciness of the details. And can make a rational argument that FB is better than gossip or reading tabloid stories.

Susan decided not to break her fast on Sundays. It seems arbitrary and weak to take a break.

Susan’s grandma is sick and she wants to blurt it out once and get lots of nice notes back. Would that be so wrong?

Susan watches how she fills her Facebook hole and is not exactly proud. But I’m trying.

Susan thinks it’s funny to speak in the third person. Not the royal we. The self-reflexive she.

Susan really, really, really, really, really wants to go on Facebook. A lot. A really lot.

Susan is going to Italy tomorrow.

Susan is exploding with anticipation and she has already called everyone reasonable to call. Must. Get. Going. To. Italy. Presto.

Susan hopes she is not sending her children into therapy by leaving them on the other side of the world.

Susan is dreadfully homesick, jetlagged and culture shocked but she has never ever seen such beauty.

Susan was wooed in a garden today.

Susan is in a quiet place: no Internet, no phone, no tv.

Susan’s thoughts are clearer, way clearer.

Susan was afraid to be alone for ten days with her husband and without her kids and the props of daily life, but now she loves it.

Susan is dreaming in Italian…un poco.

Susan is dazzled by beauty.

Susan is pondering.

Susan is learning that anxiety comes more often than I would like, but it goes too, every time.

Susan feared they would have to spend the night in the car when they got lost, but they got home. Grace.

Susan’s children are doing well. More grace.

Susan thinks people are delightfully kind.

Susan learned to make pasta.

Susan does not have Stendhal Syndrome, just Art Overload.

Susan may have had the happiest time of her life.

Susan can’t wait to be home.

Susan is dizzy with fatigue. Her kids are not.

Susan needs more beauty, less noise.

Susan is scared it will recede and fade. How do you hold onto it?

Susan is sorting things out, examining the things I stuffed away, preparing to enter the fray again.

Susan feels like my garden: boggy, slightly mildewed and winter-weathered, but with fresh green shoots of hope.

Susan is editing up a beautiful storm.

Susan is sleeping naked.

Susan is glad to see the world greening up.

Susan no longer feels like there is a glass ceiling between her and God.

Susan has fancy eyelids.

Susan can now write about prayer in a visceral way.

Susan feels surprisingly regretful at the end of Lent: do I want to start narrating my life again? Unlike other addictions, this one is social. Can you go to a party and just sit in the corner? Why not stay home?

Susan circles the site like a cold pool, dipping a toe in here and there, reluctant to take the plunge.

***

Susan Fish is a writer, editor, wife, and mother of three school aged children who lives in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada. Her first novel Seeker of Stars was published in 2005, while her second is still looking for a home. She is always intrigued by the signs people choose to erect on their garages, fields, or lawns, and once had both a pesticide sign and a Green party sign on her front lawn at the same time. Fortunately, she saw the irony in the situation. Susan’s story “That Sign” can be found in Relief Issue 3.2.