(Un)Suited

Michael Dean Clark

A week ago, I wore a suit to work. And a tie. And a vest.

This is not cause for alarm, except for some of my new students who felt compelled ask why I’d done it. Backing up a bit, there are three cultural assumptions at work here.

First: Writers don’t look like “writers” unless their outfit was picked up off the bedroom floor, shaken out, and put on quickly enough that one of the buttons in the shirt is in the wrong hole (if the shirt has all of its buttons to begin with).

Second: People who just completed a Ph.D. don’t have enough money to own a suit that makes them look like they could be a teller at the local Bank of America branch.

Third: Being that my new university sits right on the Pacific Ocean, I should apparently deliver my lectures in shorts, sandals, and with a liberal use of the term “dude.”

The intersection of all these ideas is exactly why I wear the suit. Call it a fashionable object lesson.

The more I write and the more I work with other writers, the more convinced I am that the greatest obstacle standing in the way of originality is not our practice of making cultural assumptions and then extending those assumptions into stereotypes. Rather, the problem lies in our inability to identify those assumptive forces within ourselves. In writing, this is deadly.

I know, this isn’t rocket science. Then again, the rocket scientists I’ve known more often than not suffer from the same blindness.

We can’t see within ourselves the systems that guide our opinions and actions when we decide what is and is not acceptable, desirable, and worth pursuing. And when we can’t see them, we can’t challenge them.

In critical theory, folks like Foucault would point to our blind spot for the control of systems outside of us as the culprits for this blindness. We are enmeshed in overlapping, intertwined mechanisms that create the internal latticework of opinions and attitudes that “guide” us.

I tend to see humans as more autonomous than that, but I’m not as smart as Michel was. And yet, I’m pretty sure his ability to theorize about those systems (and my subsequent assumption that they are there) means I can’t lay back and blame everything outside of me for my internal blind spots.

If I’m going to be a writer, I must identify and own the places where I lack sight. Not only that, I need to wallow in them and then make them public. This is the mirror artists hold up to culture. And a mirror is only effective if it reflects clearly (unless you want to avoid your blemishes, in which case I’d suggest taking stock in why you are so afraid of yourself).

So sometimes I wear a suit. That way, when people’s stereotypes are challenged, I can talk about it with them. Hopefully those conversations will lead me and others to a more refined understanding of the forces at work within us and a broader vocabulary with which to talk about them.

Michael Dean Clark is a writer, teacher, and former Southern California ex-patriot in the Midwest. Currently, he is at work on…nothing. His new job as a professor of writing at Point Loma Nazarene University has left no time for stories of his own. He hopes that is not the case for much longer, otherwise people may begin to question his qualifications for said new job.

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Leaving Life to the Man Upstairs

Leann Fischel

The scent of a Hallmark store gives me the same feeling as when I inadvertently remember how my kindergarten teacher smelled.  It was a heartwarming scent, though an odd memory, but more than recognizable for reasons understood only in my brain.  The ladies at the front greeted me as I entered an almost empty store.  They asked if I needed help.  I should have said, “Yes.”  The maze of greeting cards tested my will.  In all the stores I have been to for Hallmark, I’ve never had such difficulty finding what I wanted; after all, she will be 81 years young August 31st and I have to find the perfect card.  I found rows of “sympathy” and “thank you” cards, of “get well soon” and “congratulations cards”, and the all-too-exciting milestone cards.  Round and round I went through the aisles till I found “her birthday.”

I’m one of those people who is less than satisfied with looking at only five or six cards and picking one.  Oh no.  I must have opened thirty cards, and the second one I read, that’s the one I chose.  I have to make sure I’ve picked the very best I can.  I have to make sure it says everything I want it to say without being more than eight lines; I don’t give books inside cards.  As I wandered through these cards, I considered that this may be the last one I give her; this may be the last August that she sees.  But I quickly push that thought away.  She has been a devoutly religious woman since as long as I can remember.  God has been good to her, she would say.  God has blessed her with long life and the chance to see her grand babies.

Many of my friends have never met their grandparents, or were not old enough to remember them.  The lady at the register told me how lucky I was that I had the chance to spend time with my grandmother, that most people never get that chance.  I considered the concept, the idea of not having that chance, but had no way to fathom  it.  All four of my grandparents are still alive.  All of them are almost eighty, if not already.  My grandparents would all tell you it is God who has gifted them with long life and a chance to see their grandbabies.  What about chance?  The chance that they still live to this day, that they have been alive through more than fifteen presidents, through the Depression, World and Gulf Wars, through the times of housewives and flappers, less than a decade after women gained the right to vote, through a time when inequality of races and sex was a perfectly accepted concept?  But leave long life to chance?  Never.


Leann Fischel is about to become a 2010 graduate of Sam Houston State University where she spent the last three years falling in love with writing.  She has read the classics by Twain, Shakespeare, Dostoevskyand many others and yes, the Harry Potter AND Twilight series.  She hopes a job will find her in San Antonio in the next six months so she can be a workin’ woman.

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Relief News Tuesday 8.17.2010

New Staff Member

Leann Fischel

It is our pleasure to introduce another staff member that has been added to the Relief team: Leann Fischel!  Leann is our brand-speanking-new intern (a position I once filled–and look where it got me!). She will be assisting with submission reading and writing for our blog.

Here is Leann’s bio:

Leann is about to become a 2010 graduate of Sam Houston State University where she spent the last three years falling in love with writing.  She has read the classics by Twain, Shakespeare, Dostoevskyand many others and yes, the Harry Potter AND Twilight series.  She hopes a job will find her in San Antonio in the next six months so she can be a workin’ woman.

If you would be so kind, leave a comment welcoming her to our staff!


Help Wanted!

Right now, Relief is in a period of growth. While we like to think we’ve got enough hardworking people, we actually need more. And our sister publication, The Midnight Diner, could use some more team members too.

Starting next Thursday, we will be launching a “Help Wanted” tab at the top of the page advertising between three and five positions that we need to fill to keep up with our expansion. The positions are part time (10-25 hours a week) and will require a resumé to be submitted with the application.

If you have any questions, leave a comment after the one you’ve already left welcoming Leann.

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Announcing Diner 3 Authors!

The Midnight Diner: Volume 3

I’m not going to lie. I was terrified when Coach handed me the keys to The Midnight Diner.  This third edition would not have come to fruition without the absolutely amazing (all volunteer!!) staff. In all my (almost) forty years, I’ve never witnessed people working together so flawlessly. This well-oiled machine was definitely greased by The Big Man.  I hope you enjoy reading these stories as much as I have enjoyed publishing them.

Eric Ortlund

Eric Ortlund
“A Thousand Flowers”
Editor’s Choice

Eric Ortlund teaches Hebrew and Old Testament at Briercrest Seminary in Saskatchewan, Canada. When he is not playing with his two kids, he is busy reading Gene Wolfe and Neil Gaiman and planning his next novel.

Edward Erdelac

Edward Erdelac
“The Blood Bay”
Editor’s Choice

Edward Erdelac was born in Indiana, educated in Chicago, and lives in the Los Angeles area with his family. He is an award winning screenwriter, an independent filmmaker, a sometime Star Wars contributor, and the author of Merkabah Rider: Tales of a High Planes Drifter, the acclaimed first installment in a weird western series from Damnation Books.

Brian J. Hatcher

Brian J. Hatcher
“Clockworks of Hell”
Editor’s Choice

Brian J. Hatcher is an author, poet, and editor from Charleston WV. His work has appeared in the “Legends of the Mountain State” series, the poetry anthology ”Leonard Cohen: You’re Our Man”, the Stoker-award winning “Writers Workshop of Horror”, and Weird Tales Magazine. Brian will be appearing in “The Terror at Miskatonic Falls”, “Blood Lite 2: Overbite”, and the fourth volume of “Legends of the Mountain State”. “Mountain Magic: Spellbinding Tales of Appalachia”, Brian’s first anthology as editor, will be coming out sometime this fall. Keep up with Brian at www.brianjhatcher.com.

Kevin Brown Kevin Brown
“Monster Made”

Kevin Brown has had work published in over one hundred journals and magazines, and has
won numerous competitions and fellowships. He was also nominated for a 2007 Journey Award and a Pushcart Prize. His first short-story collection, Ink On Wood, is forthcoming from Virgogray Press. His website is: www.InvisibleBodies.com

Kevin Lucia

Kevin Lucia
Diner Alumni
“Lonely Places”

Kevin Lucia is the Review Editor for Shroud Magazine. His short fiction has appeared in several anthologies. He’s currently finishing his Creative Writing Masters Degree at Binghamton University, he teaches high school English and lives in Castle Creek, New York with his wife and children. He is the author of Hiram Grange & The Chosen One, Book Four of The Hiram Grange Chronicles. Visit him on the web at www.kevinlucia.blogspot.com.

Greg Mitchell Greg Mitchell
Diner Alumni
“Flesh and Blood”

As a child, Greg Mitchell was afraid of monsters. So, naturally, when he grew up, he devoted his life to writing stories about people shooting monsters in their hairy faces. He has contributed to the Star Wars continuity as well as the Halloween franchise based on the original John Carpenter film. The first novel in his “The Coming Evil” faith-versus-fear series, “The Strange Man”, was originally self-published in 2007, and a revised and expanded edition is due out February 2011 from Realms Fiction. While he’s not writing about monsters, he, his wife Meghan, and their two daughters can be found preparing for the inevitable zombie apocalypse at their home in northeast Arkansas. Check him out atwww.thecomingevil.com.

M.L. Archer

M.L. Archer
Diner Alumni
“Virtuoso”

A native of Los Angeles, M.L. Archer, has been writing fiction since the age of eight . . .
the same year she started violin lessons. An alumnus of the St. Louis
Youth Orchestra, under Leonard Slatkins’s direction, she went on to
play with a number of adult groups including everything from The Way
Orchestra to the Grand Ol’ Opry. She owns a magic violin named Max and
is always pleased when her two favorite subjects, writing and the
violin, manage to meet.

Douglas Kolacki Douglas Kolacki
“Cloak”

Douglas Kolacki began writing while stationed with the Navy in Italy, where he received
his first story earnings in a Red Cross contest. Since then he has placed fiction in Dragons Knights & Angels, Mindflights, Dreams & Visions and Weird Tales. He currently lives and writes in San Diego.

Lon Prater

Lon Prater
“Way of Cold Teeth”

Lon Prater is an active duty Navy officer by day, writer of odd little tales by night. His short fiction has appeared in the Stoker-winning anthology Borderlands 5, Writers of the Future XXI, and Origins Award finalist Frontier Cthulhu. He is an avid Texas Hold’em player, occasional stunt kite flyer, and connoisseur of history, theme parks and haunted hayrides. To find out more, visit www.lonprater.com.

Chris Mikesell

Chris Mikesell
Diner Alumni, Contributing Editor
“Hanlon’s Folly”

If you were to take a dictionary and highlight all the words in it that pertain to Chris Mikesell, you would wind up with a hefty fine for defacing library reference materials. You would also probably be left with plenty of ink in your Hi-Liter. Chris lives in suburban Dallas with his wife (Dina), his son (Philip), and his regrets (a few, but then again,
too few to mention) and teaches Sophomore English (think you’re smarter than a 10th Grader? Visit his class website at mikesell128.blogspot.com). His fiction has appeared in DKA (now Mindflights), Ray Gun Revival, and the previous editions of Coach’s Midnight Diner. He has no interest in cliff diving, but has no objection to living vicariously through the lives of his characters.

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Announcing Diner 3 Authors, continued…

Jason Hubbard Derr Jason Hubbard Derr
“Haunting of Mabel”

Jason Hubbard Derr holds an MA in Theological Studies from the Vancouver School of Theology and studied creative writing in his undergrad at Eastern Washington University. HIs writing has appeared in Relief, Patheos.com and The Huffington Post and his first book will soon be released by the Progressive Christian Alliance Press. Jason is a Theologian-In-Affiliation with the Progressive Christian Alliance and is married to Erin. They live in Vancouver, BC.

Michael Dean Clark

Michael Dean Clark
“Beneath Its Weight”

Michael Dean Clark is an author of fiction and nonfiction situated primarily in the San Diego area. His work has appeared in Relief, FastForward, and Literary Circular among other outlets. He lives in San Diego with his wife and almost three children and works as a professor of writing at Point Loma Nazarene University.

Libby Cudmore

Libby Cudmore
“Preacher Man”

Libby Cudmore is a regular contributor to Hardboiled. a Twist of Noir, Celebrities in Disgrace and Thrillers, Killers ‘n’ Chillers, where her story “Unplanned” won a Bullet Award in August 2009 and was nominated for a Derringer award in 2010. Her work has also appeared in The MacGuffin, the Yalobusha Review, the Chaffey Review, the Southern Women’s Review, Xenith, Inertia, Battered Suitcase, Big Pulp (with Matthew Quinn Martin)
Eastern Standard Crime, Pulp Pusher, the Flash Fiction Offensive, PowderBurnFlash and the anthology Relationships and Other Stuff. Her stories are forthcoming in issues of Crime Factory, Connotation Press and the anthologies We’ll Always Have Chicago and Quantum Genre on the Planet of the Arts (also with Matthew Quinn Martin).

Matthew Quinn Martin

Matthew Quinn Martin
Contributing Editor
“Big Apple Gothic”

Matthew Quinn Martin
is a New York based writer. His original
screenplay Slingshot was made into a feature film starring Juliana
Margulies, David Arquette, Thora Birch, Balthazar Getty and Joely
Fisher. Slingshot had its premiere at the TriBeCa Film Festival, 2005,
has been featured onAccess Hollywood, and is currently on
DVD, distributed by the Weinstein Co.

Matthew’s prose fiction has been published (or is forthcoming) in
Transition Magazine,The Crossing Chaos Anthology: Quantum Genre on the
Planet of Arts, and Big Pulp (co-written with Libby Cudmore),
Thuglit,MFA/MFYou Literary Journal, A Twist of Noir,Eastern Standard
Crime, The Oddville Press,Aphelion and The Flash Fiction Offensive.

His screenplay A Very Good Year, featuring Dan Lauria (The Wonder
Years) and Gaius Charles (Friday Night Lights) was presented at
FilmFest New Haven. Other works of his have been produced by
NYCollective and The New Haven Theatre Co. In addition he has acted as
a consultant or ghostwriter on numerous projects for film and
television.

He can also be seen flitting around the margins of your TV set…most
notably in a recurring co-starring role on the first season of the JJ
Abrams created Fringe.

Colin McKay Miller

Colin McKay Miller
“The Ocean Thief”

Colin McKay Miller is a writer and volunteer halfway house minister from Edinburgh,
Scotland. His fiction and nonfiction have appeared in numerous publications, including Vagabond Press’ MIND anthology and in Colored Chalk (which he has guest edited). He lives in Colorado with his wife and daughter.

Edoardo Albert

Edoardo Albert

Edoardo Albert
“Last Door”

Edoardo Albert is a professional writer and editor, born and based in London, although his parents come from Italy and Sri Lanka. He’s married, with two sons, and once wrote a lonely hearts ad that reduced a friend to a state of helpless, hysterical laughter. At the moment, he’s typing out a novel written long hand, finishing short stories and trying to find freelance
work. Any job offers will be considered.

Virginia Hernandez

Virginia Hernandez
Diner Alumni
“A Better Place”

Virginia Hernandez is not having much luck finding time to write because life with her
husband and three terrific kids keeps getting in the way. However, she is officially interested in the multiple world theory and hopes this existence is the one where her novels get published.

Jeff Chapman

Jeff Chapman
“Princess and Vampire”

Jeff Chapman writes fairy tales, fantasy, and ghost stories. His works have appeared or are forthcoming in Golden Visions Magazine,Mindflights, and Third Order. Hearing the expression “just a fairy tale” rankles him. He lives with his wife and children in a house with more books than bookshelf space. Stop by his blog at http://jeffchapmanwriter.blogspot.com/.

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